It’s amazing how a person or some people in our lives can actively affect our feelings and moods way more than others. A person’s ability to truly hurt us depends on how attached we are to them or how involved they are in our lives. So it’s understandable why we might want to steer clear of making deep connections, it’s a preventative measure to protect us from hurt and disappointment.
With time, I’ve grown to understand that you really can’t help but get attached to friends, family and loved ones because we spend so much time with them. However, I also realized that even in the midst of that familiarity, you can create independence.
This means not stopping your journey, your self-discovery and any habits that make you, you. It’s so important to have those things which you can call your own.
We can’t control how people we are close to behave but we can control our reactions to them.
My favorite things to do is to go over these 3 things whenever I feel hurt or disappointed:
Firstly, I ask myself if I can talk about it and if I can, I fully express myself, even if it means writing down my feelings. Sometimes it’s best to say how you feel and let it go.
Secondly, I make sure the hurt I’m feeling is not self-inflicted. Sometimes, we get hurt by having too-high or too-particular expectations for how a person should act or even react and so we get disappointed when they don’t reach these expectations. The solution is to stop creating problems that shouldn’t exist in the first place and instead, to turn your energy inwards into doing things that you enjoy and make you love yourself more.
Lastly, I decide to forgive the person and let go. I consciously consider if I want to keep allowing myself feel the hurt and anger and if not, I take the energy and and attention I was giving to that person and channel it to myself.
I believe we get to choose the people around us and it’s best to make sure you are surrounded by those who match your energy and understand you.
Attachments can be controlled, however unavoidable they are. But make sure that whoever you get attached through friendship or whatever it is really, brings peace to your space.
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