If you had to count the number of times you’ve read the words “love yourself” on social media, I’m guessing you would lose track of the number, same here. But here’s the truth, I always gloss over it and carry on with my day without taking time to understand what it really means to love myself.
This month, I struggled a lot and had to reevaluate how I deal with friendships and my relationships with people in general and this lead me taking time to understand what love meant to me and how important it is to actively love myself first before pouring into others. If you’ve ever met me, you would find that I am a very friendly person and when I consider someone to be my good friend I will literally do my best to make sure they are doing good and to cater to their needs. It is such a huge part of my character that I never stop to think about how far is too far but I recently realised that as I was taking care of others around me, I slowly began to forget about the most important person, which is myself.
I had forgotten how important it is to protect my peace and find true happiness in myself first, I was so focused on looking happy even when I wasn’t and choking on my problems so nobody would consider me a burden that it wasn’t until I experienced complete burnout that I realised how much I’d lost myself in other people. Listen, there is absolutely nothing wrong in taking care of those you love but you must always remember that you cannot pour from an empty vessel.
Making this decision wasn’t easy, I honestly had to emotionally battle conflicting thoughts every day because this was totally out of my comfort zone, Sometimes I would catch myself staring blankly completely lost in my thoughts, I was confused and it seemed like I was learning who Fountain is, what she likes and what she wants out of life.
Here are some things I’m learning on this journey to Self-love:
- Enjoy your own company: There are so many layers to who you are that you’d never discover if you don’t make time out to talk, learn and teach yourself. Try watching movies alone, listening to music by yourself to discover your interests, go on walks alone, go shopping alone, you may discover that you’re actually such a great sport and you make amazing company and you’ll love yourself even more.
- Come back to real life: Drop your phone, switch off your gadgets sometimes and have real conversations with those you love. Read a book, write letters to yourself and tell her the things you can’t say out loud
- Do things that move your spirit: Go after the things that make you feel alive, the things that give you peace, it could be music, football, praying, writing or absolutely anything. Focus on doing these things that bring you the most joy.
- Remember that it’s okay to cry: Crying is important. You don’t have to wail but if you have been hurt, lost someone or trying to let go of certain things, It’s an outlet to release the pain and you should take full advantage of it. I want you to know it’s not going to be a straight journey ahead and you might find your self falling back to old habits but in the words of the famous Titilope Sonuga, “ Forgive yourself for the backward motion, give thanks for the courage to inch forward anyway “.
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