Enjoy Your Own Company

Enjoy Your Own Company

If you had to count the number of times you’ve read the words “love yourself” on social media, I’m guessing you would lose track of the number, same here. But here’s the truth, I always gloss over it and carry on with my day without taking time to understand what it really means to love myself.

This month, I struggled a lot and had to reevaluate how I deal with friendships and my relationships with people in general and this lead me taking time to understand what love meant to me and how important it is to actively love myself first before pouring into others. If you’ve ever met me, you would find that I am a very friendly person and when I consider someone to be my good friend I will literally do my best to make sure they are doing good and to cater to their needs. It is such a huge part of my character that I never stop to think about how far is too far but I recently realised that as I was taking care of others around me, I slowly began to forget about the most important person, which is myself.

I had forgotten how important it is to protect my peace and find true happiness in myself first, I was so focused on looking happy even when I wasn’t and choking on my problems so nobody would consider me a burden that it wasn’t until I experienced complete burnout that I realised how much I’d lost myself in other people. Listen, there is absolutely nothing wrong in taking care of those you love but you must always remember that you cannot pour from an empty vessel.

Making this decision wasn’t easy, I honestly had to emotionally battle conflicting thoughts every day because this was totally out of my comfort zone, Sometimes I would catch myself staring blankly completely lost in my thoughts, I was confused and it seemed like I was learning who Fountain is, what she likes and what she wants out of life.

Here are some things I’m learning on this journey to Self-love:

  1. Enjoy your own company: There are so many layers to who you are that you’d never discover if you don’t make time out to talk, learn and teach yourself. Try watching movies alone, listening to music by yourself to discover your interests, go on walks alone, go shopping alone, you may discover that you’re actually such a great sport and you make amazing company and you’ll love yourself even more.
  2. Come back to real life: Drop your phone, switch off your gadgets sometimes and have real conversations with those you love. Read a book, write letters to yourself and tell her the things you can’t say out loud
  3. Do things that move your spirit: Go after the things that make you feel alive, the things that give you peace, it could be music, football, praying, writing or absolutely anything. Focus on doing these things that bring you the most joy.
  4. Remember that it’s okay to cry: Crying is important. You don’t have to wail but if you have been hurt, lost someone or trying to let go of certain things, It’s an outlet to release the pain and you should take full advantage of it. I want you to know it’s not going to be a straight journey ahead and you might find your self falling back to old habits but in the words of the famous Titilope Sonuga, “ Forgive yourself for the backward motion, give thanks for the courage to inch forward anyway “.

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Start Loving

Start Loving

Have you ever looked at someone and wished you had a body like theirs just so maybe you could be a model, or wished you had someone else’s talent so you could do something with your life and get the kind of recognition they’re receiving. Well, I have many times and I’m guessing you have too.

I had always compared myself to my Siblings, I felt they all had a hustle, like a rhythm to their lives and knew exactly what they wanted to be with that perfect creative bone in their bodies. It also didn’t help that they were all so beautiful with slim bodies, unlike mine at the time.

So I always felt like the un-useful one or the chubbier one, I had nothing to call my own, I really felt useless when I was around them. It made me very defensive and extremely sad to the point where tears of frustration would come out and they’d be left confused wondering what had gone wrong.
Then came Instagram and all its perfection, I died several deaths before I realised that sitting in that pit of comparison wasn’t going to help me get any more talented, creative or beautiful. It only made me feel terrible and depressed so I decided to take a few steps to become a better person.
These are some the few steps that started me on my self-love journey:

  • Write down what you are good at, or interested in, it took me a very long while to write stuff down but sit there and don’t leave till you have something because the truth is, there’s something in every one of us.
  • Write down your insecurities. What don’t you like about yourself? Are there steps you can take to actively improve? Or are you just going to have to accept that those flaws are a part of your journey?
    You have to come to terms with the things that you can change and can’t change. F or example, I can’t change the fact that my legs are not straight so I went and googled models with bow legs, and told myself that if they lived with it I could too ( I know, I’m extra) but it helps.
  • When it came to things I could change, I could change my body, so I started cutting back calories, I could change my lack of creativity, so I took my blog more seriously, and I can change the fact that I had no source of income, so I begged my mum to find me a place where I can learn to make nails and make extra income while in university.
  • Start working! Now that you know what you can do start working at it now. Doesn’t matter if you fail, my life has always been trial and error, but I am still here and would probably fail at something before the month is over but I won’t die and neither would you.

I still don’t have everything figured out and I don’t think I ever will but I am learning to enjoy the process. Let go of the things that are not in your power to change and embrace and love what you can. The number of times I compliment my self in the mirror might seem insane to someone else but its where I get my daily dose of self-confidence and it helps.

So hey gorgeous, would you like to share some areas where you constantly find yourself making comparisons with me? And maybe we can work together on finding healthy solutions.
Until next time, Love and kisses, Doctor of Happiness 🙂