He/Him (poem by an anonymous writer)

He/Him(these are my thoughts and feeling that i want to share)

When I look at myself

I feel pain

Because I see just a stranger

A loner estranged from himself

Sometimes I get shy when he speaks to me

I was no more than 9 when we began to lose touch

So, it gets a bit awkward

I spent so much time pushing him away

I never thought I’d see him again

But he’s struggling

He’s suffering

I tried to kill him

I’m still killing him

He’s cried out for help

He’s been begging

He always calls out

But I’ve blocked my ears

Ran from his symphonies

So, I can sing along to everyone else’s strings

I love him

I adore him

I weep when I think of him

But I can’t save him

Oh, how I’ve yearned to save him

But I can’t

Sometimes I adhere to his wishes

And I give him his one true love

I give him music

But it’s not enough

It’s never enough

He’s an entire spectrum

But I must stay black and white

He’s not what they want

He’s not what they love

He’s what they dread

Because he loves the sound of the world

Because he doesn’t believe in what they exalt

Because he wants to fly with his own wings

Because he will never love her

Because he will always love him

Like I love him

I adore him

I’ve never been happy

But he makes me happy

He brings me to tears of joy

Now that I’m at a crossroad

And life isn’t waiting for me to choose anymore

I want to choose happiness

Freedom

I want to stop the deep sighs

I want to lift my heavy heart

Dry my wet eyes

Warm my cold hands

I want to feel him again

I want to be with him again

I want to be him again

Not a drawing that has been shaded in black and white

I want her beautiful canvas

I want her colors that shine so bright

I don’t want to be here anymore

Where I function like a piece of metal

I want to be where he is

I want to feel again

I want to feel her blood running through me

I don’t want to be a murderer

I want to be a healer

So, I can heal him

~by Anonymous

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5 thoughts on “He/Him (poem by an anonymous writer)

  1. This one got me! So much emotions been explained here…. Feelings be coming alive I guess… 👏👏👏👏 Too great a poem.🙌🙌…

    Liked by 1 person

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